This letter was sent to one of Tuscaloosa’s prolife advocates from a mother in Moundville, Alabama.
About 12 years ago I found out I was pregnant. I had just been through a divorce and I was NOT married. However, I made some bad choices and unfortunately was not thinking clearly. The day I found out [I was pregnant], I was scared and alone (or I thought I was).
2-3 weeks afterwards, I called and made an appointment to have an abortion with Dr. Payne, because I thought this would be in everybody’s best interest in the family. I told NO ONE.
Upon going to Dr. Payne’s office there were many people there holding signs (for which I am very thankful), so I called and cancelled the appointment and made one in Birmingham at the abortion clinic for the following week. I went by myself, determined this was best.
I had paid to go in the back private area of the clinic so that I was unnoticeable to the “prolife” people with the signs out front. I parked my car and went to the back door to be buzzed in. While waiting for someone to let me in I heard a man call out to me.
I was scared to turn around, but I did, and just about 30 feet away from me I saw a man dressed in black and white, almost like what an old time priest would wear or a pilgrim, with a black hat on. I don’t remember his exact words to me but his basic story was “you really don’t want to do this, it’s a bad decision you will regret for the rest of your life. God gave you this gift to the world.”
Well I can tell you his 30 seconds of talking to me will remain with me for the rest of my life. I went inside (now not so sure what I wanted to do) and they took me in the back to put on a gown and do an ultrasound to see how far along I was. During the ultrasound, I saw the baby’s heartbeat and I felt MY heart rip out of my chest.
I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I left the clinic that day with my baby’s heart still beating. Knowing what I had done, I talked to God all the way home. Kinda like, “ok God, I cannot do this by myself, I sooo need you, and if this is your will, I will do whatever it takes, but you have got to be beside me”. What I didn’t realize at that time is that He was already there. He knew that one single act of selfishness could have destroyed my life and would forever have been a mistake. He had never left my side.
I don’t know who the man dressed in black was, Jesus? or my guardian angel? or just a kind human being doing what he thought was best? I do know that he was standing by himself, and he had a beard, and his words touched my very soul.
I am proud to say I had my baby girl, and we have been together for 13 years and I could not ever, ever imagine my life without her. She has made mostly a’s and b’s in school, is a 7th grader, and a cheerleader. She is one of the most kind, considerate, loving, sweet children I know, even if she is almost a teenager and we have our days.
Can you imagine what a grave mistake I could have made? Please keep doing what you do. How many baby’s lives have you saved already? And one day somebody may say that you saved my baby’s life with your kind words, or that man standing in front of the clinic made my life worth living because if he was not standing there, I would not have my little girl/boy. I just wanted you to know that you should keep on…you may be just the angel to protect many babies.